10. Macaroni necklace doesn't match your outfit.
9. whining and crying lasts until the kids join in
8. no pink in sight
7. wrestling match over wearing collared shirt hurts my back
6. restaurant doesn't carry enough fire insurance
5. obligatory card from dog
4. two words: chin hair
3. buffet eats purportedly inspired by new Jeffrey Dahmer cookbook
2. the Brazilian hurts less
and, the number one reason to book a spa package on Mother's Day...
1. all those tasty cucumbers
Happy Mother's Day, all!
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