I did a bad bad thing.
I wrote a snarky comment at the Avon romance website. Here’s how it all played out.

I’m not a fan of marketing sites and their patrons, particularly the romance sites which purpose is to create fan buzz. ‘I’m so hot my shit melts before I take a crap’ kinda thing. It’s littered with authors, newly pubbed writers, and annoying gushing fans.

While innocently poking around, I found it. The chirpy editor question o’the day about Alpha vs. Beta heroes. My ass twitched. My blood turned white. I felt my face freeze into a mask worthy of Tobin Bell.

For those not in the know, here’s the skinny. Beta heroes are the ‘humble sexy good guy finishes first’ type of hero. Alphas are the 'com’ere, wench, and I’ll bite the hooks and eyes off your bodice’ type. Get it?

So, Gushing Fan One wrote, I just love Beta heroes. Other Gushing Fan wrote, give me an Alpha any day!

My hair turned red. My breath seized. I hated them more than I hated my own failures as a writer. I was sick of the tired discussion A v. B and especially sick of what Avon considers publishable. It’s dreck. It’s been dreck for years. I tried to change things a bit, but alas, it wasn’t to be. I’m at the mercy of the house.

So, in keeping with my personal motto, if you can’t poke fun at yourself, poke others till they bleed and you feel better I took up my pen and starting posting.

I arrogantly told Avon’s chirpy editor that Alphas needed to make a comeback, and gosh couldn’t they do that without raping twelve year olds?, and that it was time to consider the toe-curling, clitty-plumping bodice ripper again because the new shit stank like yesterday’s diapers.

So be it. I haven’t won any friends. But I feel better.