I ran across this at Astrocenter and found it amusing. Find your AstroBoss - or yourself - here.
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Aries:(March 20 - April 19)
Your Aries boss is a fireball endowed with inexhaustible energy. While giving you your marching orders, he or she may also be reading e-mail and answering the phone. A quick decision-maker, Aries knows how to endow leadership with a personal touch. What you need to impress your Aries boss: good grooming, an alert demeanor (no yawning!), an ability to admit your mistakes, sincerity rather than empty flattery, and enthusiasm for working overtime.
Taurus:(April 20 - May 20)Taurus has plenty of stamina and a flawless sense of organization. Willing to stretch a deadline if you need more time, this boss is a comforting presence rather than a dragon. But he or she wants detailed estimates and loathes improvisation on a job. Your Taurus boss wants plain talk about any problem that is worrying you, evidence that you are cost-effective (you earn more for the company than they pay you), and respect for professional discretion.
Gemini:(May 21 - June 20)
The Gemini boss is always on the move and always chattering via every means possible: cell phone, e-mail, or videotaped presentation. He or she haunts the hallways hoping to hear the latest jokes and then rushes off to tell them to others. Your Gemini boss unconsciously seeks unpredictability, faster-than-lightning efficiency, an able hand with the latest Web technology, and the capacity to improvise.
Cancer:(June 21 - July 21)
Your dear, sweet Cancer boss may secretly doubt him- or herself. The family photo is well in evidence on his or her desk, and you always will get concern for you and your family. Moreover, Cancer tries hard to make the office atmosphere comfortable and cozy. Your Cancer boss wants someone to go fishing with occasionally who stays out of the way when a bad mood strikes, and who respects schedules. Never argue once he or she has made a firm decision.
Leo:(July 22 - August 22)Leo is a born leader, a star people naturally admire. Endowed with charisma, your Leo boss can purr a command and obtain instant obedience. A healthy dose of personal ambition inspires him or her to conduct business with pride and efficiency. You will fare best through flattery, applause, and blind obedience, by taking pride in your own personal appearance, and by being willing to give him or her credit for your ideas. Never challenge your Leo boss in public or upstage his or her performance.
Virgo:(August 23 - September 22)
Despite the low profile, your Virgo boss is amazingly efficient. Always reasonable and in total control emotionally, he or she appreciates projects that run on schedule, without the need for much supervision. Order reigns supreme. What your Virgo boss wants from you is punctuality, a tidy desk, respect for schedules and deadlines, an ability to stay within budget, impeccable manners.
Libra:(September 23 - October 22)Your Libra boss is sociable and fair-minded. A bit of a flirt, he or she always has a kind word for everyone and enjoys coffee breaks with employees. Your boss may often ask for your opinion, because of an unfortunate and incurable tendency to be wishy-washy. To get along with your Libra boss, you should be tactful, fair to your coworkers, and willing to play tennis at lunchtime. Smile as much as is humanly possible.
Scorpio:(October 23 - November 21)Scorpio takes an almost perverse enjoyment in wielding power and authority. Fortunately, he or she also is logical and determined and a very efficient manager. To get along, never engage in a clash of wills. Always admire his or her worth, show initiative, and tolerate his or her excessiveness. Above all, trust in Scorpio's amazing intuition.
Sagittarius:(November 22 - December 20)Sagittarius is an inveterate optimist with folksy good humor. No problem is too big for your Sag boss to solve. If the team succeeds, the profits are shared out fairly. What this boss wants from you is respect for underlings, warmth and good-heartedness, enthusiasm, trust in others, an ability to express ideas, and unsinkable morale, regardless of what happens.
Capricorn:(December 21 - January 18)Your Capricorn boss works like a slave and demands that you do the same. He or she has absolutely no compunctions about asking you to meet impossible deadlines. What he or she is unconsciously seeking in an employee is punctuality in every way, flawless honesty, and an ability to work at the speed of light. This boss loathes malicious gossip in the office and leisurely lunch breaks, both of which waste valuable time.
Aquarius:(January 19 - February 17)Your Aquarius boss is a visionary. Cutting-edge technologies are second nature to the Water Bearer, who comes up with a new idea everyday and often hankers to rearrange the office. You'll impress your Aquarius boss if you are teeming with ideas, assertive in your opinions (even if they contradict his or hers), courteous, and open to dialogue.
Pisces:(February 18 - March 19)
The Pisces boss is sensitive and moody. Although he or she sometimes has trouble expressing ideas verbally, Pisces will demand unswerving loyalty. For some reason, his or her mysterious logic is always profitable. Expect sudden reversals of opinion. To get along, you should agree, accept his or her flashes of intuition without explanation, and be available at all times.
animal baguettes! 
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